Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller
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I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house. -
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We've seen some insane signs: 'Is that a loaf of bread in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?' Funny stuff along those lines. Very original. One just said, 'I will do unspeakable things.' I thought that was very interesting - and mildly terrifying! -
I rant, therefore I am. -
I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
- Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
- Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
- Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
- Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.