Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
Robert Orben
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I wish I could be as thin as Jessica Simpson. I think she looks gorgeous! I have had Jessica on my show several times, and I can tell you that girl is genuine and funny with a great self-deprecating sense of humor. -
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. -
I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like, and it doesn't go well. Either they're a bad sport or I'm not as funny as I could be. -
I was so afraid to even read a paper in front of my classmates. It is very funny because at that point my teachers would never have believed that I could speak in front of an audience of over 2,000 people. -
It's funny, because I never think of myself as Little Miss All-Together.
More quotes by Robert Orben
- I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.
- Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
- To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
- Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.
- Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.