The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Phyllis Diller
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I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things. -
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. -
Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime. -
There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap. -
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
More quotes by Phyllis Diller
- Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
- Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
- Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
- Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.