I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.
Elayne Boosler
More from: Elayne Boosler
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It's harder to be funny if you're handsome than if you're very normal-looking. It's just more relatable. You're the underdog. I mean it's funny to see people struggle, and you don't buy that Brad Pitt is struggling, you know that guy could be the most skill-less guy in the world, but if you look like that you will be fine for the rest of your life. -
What's so great about working with really funny women is that vanity comes second. Whatever makes it real and funny, they're going to go for, and it's just great. -
It's funny, because when you're younger you're in a rush to be 18 or 21 or whatever. But then you hit 30. And now, the days go by like hours. You think, 40, man, this could be the halfway point. It could be the three-quarters point, you know? Who knows? -
I don't think I'm funny. -
I don't really necessarily think I'm a funny guy, but I like the opportunity to take on something that I don't feel I'm the best at doing.
More quotes by Elayne Boosler
- I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.
- I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'
- I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'
- I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.
- I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.