The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
Dave Barry
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This is the great thing about Northern Ireland. I walk down the street and people stop me and say things like, 'I know you. You're that wee golfer, aren't you?' I say, 'Yeah, that's me.' They say, 'Keep it up, wee man.' It's very funny and that's why I want to stay here as long as possible. -
In my experience, it's not just that serious books get a hearing on comedy shows. But serious books get a serious hearing, as well as a funny one, on comedy shows. -
Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world - and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I'd like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy - a mixture of the two would be hot. -
Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children. -
On the stage you're there, it's live. There's a beginning, a middle, an end. When something is funny you hear it right away.
More quotes by Dave Barry
- The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.
- The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.
- It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money.
- Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
- Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.