Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
Rodney Dangerfield
More from: Rodney Dangerfield
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We ought to fly away from earth to heaven as quickly as we can and to fly away is to become like God, as far as this is possible and to become like him is to become holy, just, and wise. -
I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess. -
Surely God would not have created such a being as man, with an ability to grasp the infinite, to exist only for a day! No, no, man was made for immortality. -
If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men. -
God is definitely out of the closet.
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
- I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
- With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
- With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
- My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
- I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.