Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'
Rodney Dangerfield
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God asks no man whether he will accept life. That is not the choice. You must take it. The only choice is how. -
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To judge from the notions expounded by theologians, one must conclude that God created most men simply with a view to crowding hell. -
Every happening, great and small, is a parable whereby God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message. -
A man is a god in ruins. When men are innocent, life shall be longer, and shall pass into the immortal, as gently as we awake from dreams.
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
- I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
- With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
- With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
- My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
- I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.