You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
George Carlin
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It's true, Christmas can feel like a lot of work, particularly for mothers. But when you look back on all the Christmases in your life, you'll find you've created family traditions and lasting memories. Those memories, good and bad, are really what help to keep a family together over the long haul. -
We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies. -
Old age, believe me, is a good and pleasant thing. It is true you are gently shouldered off the stage, but then you are given such a comfortable front stall as spectator. -
A good day is one where I can not just read a book, but write a review of it. Maybe today I'll be able to do that. I get for some reason somewhat stronger when the sun starts to go down. Dusk is a good time for me. I'm crepuscular. -
When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.
More quotes by George Carlin
- If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
- Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
- At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.