A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
Rodney Dangerfield
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To be honest, I find going out pretty scary and intimidating. Got all those people checking you out, with only one purpose: hooking up. I'm quite the dork, I'd rather sit home and play Scrabble. But that doesn't get you a girl, does it? -
I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out. -
In general, shorter is better. If you can encapsulate your idea into a single captivating sentence, you're halfway home. -
A home is crucial, the foundation of a stable family. -
There's really no point in having children if you're not going to be home enough to father them.
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
- I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
- With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
- With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
- My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
- I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.