If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
Jeff Foxworthy
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At every party there are two kinds of people - those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. -
By the time you get dressed, drive out there, play 18 holes and come home, you've blown seven hours. There are better things you can do with your time. -
One thing I've been happy as peach pie about - because I'm all about the children and the happiness of a woman because that makes the happiness of the home - is that nannies, day cares and babysitters are all collapsing, which is forcing moms and dads to raise their children at home. -
At home in L.A., Sunday is lazy. It's the wife and me lying in bed with coffee, watching 'The Soup' or something funny on TiVo. The kid will occasionally join us. Eventually, breakfast is at a place down the street called Paty's. And we always have some kind of great dinner - my wife makes a great roast beef. -
David Lee Roth had the idea that if you covered a successful song, you were half way home. C'mon - Van Halen doing 'Dancing in the Streets'? It was stupid. I started feeling like I would rather bomb playing my own songs than be successful playing someone else's music.
More quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
- My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!
- If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.
- My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this.
- I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
- You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.