Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
Erma Bombeck
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My mother, brave woman, lost her whole family when she decided to marry a black man in the '60s. When the marriage fell apart, she had to come back to her family. -
I'm always told that what I say is controversial. Why is it controversial? Because I speak from a tradition that has now fallen out of favor with the dominant media in this country. And so when I say things like marriage should be between one man and one woman, I'm called a bigot. -
I tried marriage. I'm 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer - I believe in numbers. I'm not going 0 for 4. I'm not wearing a golden sombrero. -
Sometimes divorce is better than marriage. -
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
More quotes by Erma Bombeck
- Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.
- Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.
- A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
- Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.
- Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.