If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
Johnny Carson
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. -
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it Whenever you're right, shut up. -
Marriage has been defined by every legislature that has ever sat in the United States from every State, now 50 States, the same way, but now we have unelected judges altering and changing that fundamental institution. -
As somebody who, in my second marriage, insisted on a prenuptial agreement, I can also testify that sometimes it is an act of love to chart the exit strategy before you enter the union, in order to make sure that not only you, but your partner as well, knows that there will be no World War III should hearts and minds, for any sad reason, change. -
Whoever, fleeing marriage and the sorrows that women cause, does not wish to wed comes to a deadly old age.
More quotes by Johnny Carson
- Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'
- My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.
- For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
- For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
- I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.