A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.
Roseanne Barr
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What makes me happy is just curling up in with my mom in her bed and watching a marathon of 'CSI' and 'Grey's Anatomy' episodes with pints of ice cream. -
You know, I don't think any mother aims to be a single mom. I didn't wish for that, but it happened. -
My mom listened to the Beatles and Elvis, a lot of different types of music. -
I remember when I was 11, I told my mom, 'One day I'm going to buy you a house.' And she said, 'Boy, don't you be making promises you can't keep.' I was like: 'No, Ma, it's not a promise. I'm going to buy you a house one day.' -
Being the only man in the household with my mom definitely helped me grow up fast.
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
- Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?
- As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
- I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job.
- My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.
- Take this marriage thing seriously - it has to last all the way to the divorce.