Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.
Dave Barry
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I liked being a teenager, but I would not go back for all the tea in China. -
When I was a teenager I would lock myself in the bathroom for hours, bouffanting my hair like Patty Duke and trying to recreate Barbra Streisand's flawless eyeliner, only to comb it all out and wash it all off before stepping out into the world a butchish bisexual teen. -
A fairly bright boy is far more intelligent and far better company than the average adult. -
Children, even infants, are capable of sympathy. But only after adolescence are we capable of compassion. -
I did work at a mall in college - I think retail/customer service is just one of the most hideous jobs in the world. So I always try to be extra nice when I go into a store. But malls are part of our culture, if you watched any teen comedy in the '80s. it's clear that malls are where we live!
More quotes by Dave Barry
- The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.
- The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.
- It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money.
- Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
- Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.