I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
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How much time he saves who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks. -
Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. -
No great idea in its beginning can ever be within the law. How can it be within the law? The law is stationary. The law is fixed. The law is a chariot wheel which binds us all regardless of conditions or place or time. -
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Let him who would enjoy a good future waste none of his present.
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
- I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
- With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
- With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
- My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
- I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.