I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
More from: Rodney Dangerfield
DOWNLOAD
You are free to use this picture for any purpose including commercial. A credit linking back to this page is appreciated.
Similar Quotes:
-
All my life I've looked at words as though I were seeing them for the first time. -
I decided, very early on, just to accept life unconditionally I never expected it to do anything special for me, yet I seemed to accomplish far more than I had ever hoped. Most of the time it just happened to me without my ever seeking it. -
Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends. -
Greater than the tread of mighty armies is an idea whose time has come. -
Every cliche about kids is true they grow up so quickly, you blink and they're gone, and you have to spend the time with them now. But that's a joy.
More quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
- I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
- With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
- With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
- My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive.
- I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.