I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with 'alone.'
Demetri Martin
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Before the throne of the Almighty, man will be judged not by his acts but by his intentions. For God alone reads our hearts. -
For every quarrel a man and wife have before others, they have a hundred when alone. -
Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone. -
I talked about the barriers created by monopolies. I said that it was the role of government to break up these monopolies and that we couldn't do it alone. -
On stage I make love to twenty five thousand people and then I go home alone.
More quotes by Demetri Martin
- I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'
- I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with 'alone.'
- I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
- People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy.
- I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'