I never said most of the things I said.
Yogi Berra
More from: Yogi Berra
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Sometimes, comics will make the observation that it's not jokes that are funny, it's characters that are funny. And isn't that true! That's why I always kill jokes. I'm terrible at them, because I get the joke right, but I can't get the character right, and it just goes down like a lead balloon. -
I've dated some women who have turned me on to some funny things that are strange for men to actually do, but these things have become part of my process. I think the things I do for my appearance help make me look better. I even colour my hair because I like how it makes me look. -
Sometimes I feel like there are people just waiting for me to fall. The funny thing is, I can't give them anything. I have just never been a partier, even in school. -
I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed. -
It's funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I'm rounder in the face, I like to say, 'This is my long-term look.' Or 'This is my wife-and-kids look right here.'
More quotes by Yogi Berra
- I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?
- You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six.
- A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
- I never said most of the things I said.
- I don't mean to be funny.