The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.
Demetri Martin
More from: Demetri Martin
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At school I was very shy. I wasn't funny really. -
It's funny. You succeed, but now where are you gonna go from there? I've got to keep proving that I can laugh or cry more real each time. -
I've dated some women who have turned me on to some funny things that are strange for men to actually do, but these things have become part of my process. I think the things I do for my appearance help make me look better. I even colour my hair because I like how it makes me look. -
The nightmare is you spend the rest of your life being funny at parties and then people say, 'Why didn't you do that when you were on television?' -
Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend.
More quotes by Demetri Martin
- I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'
- I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with 'alone.'
- I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
- People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy.
- I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.'