There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.
Lewis Black
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Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine. -
I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer. -
Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you she is after your barn. -
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. -
It's funny how people who ain't never been down there can think that America is so fair and that we should be alright. It's funny that the people who have their foot on our neck are telling us, 'Get up. What's wrong with you?'
More quotes by Lewis Black
- A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people - three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? 'Let's send the monkey to Mars, Dad!'
- All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.
- There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.
- If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. That's why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat.
- It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap - fix it!