Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
Mitch Hedberg
More from: Mitch Hedberg
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Great souls are not those who have fewer passions and more virtues than others, but only those who have greater designs. -
The three great problems of this century the degradation of man in the proletariat, the subjection of women through hunger, the atrophy of the child by darkness. -
The books that help you most are those which make you think that most. The hardest way of learning is that of easy reading but a great book that comes from a great thinker is a ship of thought, deep freighted with truth and beauty. -
A great many men's gratitude is nothing but a secret desire to hook in more valuable kindnesses hereafter. -
I really think that there was a great advantage in many ways to being a woman. I think we are a lot better at personal relationships, and then have the capability obviously of telling it like it is when it's necessary.
More quotes by Mitch Hedberg
- Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!
- I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
- I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
- I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
- Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?