I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
Mitch Hedberg
More from: Mitch Hedberg
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You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. -
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I had a birthday one night on a farm we were shooting on. I walked into the tent, and there were 150 people waiting for me, all wearing masks of my face. -
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And I was very shy as a kid if you sang me 'Happy Birthday,' I would cry. Quite shy. So the idea of being an actor, much less a model, was just out of this world.
More quotes by Mitch Hedberg
- Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!
- I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
- I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
- I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
- Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?