I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life.
Mitch Hedberg
More from: Mitch Hedberg
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I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life - and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do. -
A lot of us grow up and we grow out of the literal interpretation that we get when we're children, but we bear the scars all our life. Whether they're scars of beauty or scars of ugliness, it's pretty much in the eye of the beholder. -
Education is not preparation for life education is life itself. -
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded. -
Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious.
More quotes by Mitch Hedberg
- Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!
- I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
- I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
- I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
- Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?