Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright
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Management by objective works - if you know the objectives. Ninety percent of the time you don't. -
New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. -
Our most important task is to transform our consciousness so that violence is no longer an option for us in our personal lives, that understanding that a world of peace is possible only if we relate to each other as peaceful beings, one individual at a time. -
When my time on earth is gone, and my activities here are passed, I want they bury me upside down, and my critics can kiss my ass! -
How can you think and hit at the same time?
More quotes by Steven Wright
- How young can you die of old age?
- I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
- For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
- I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
- I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.