I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all.
Mitch Hedberg
More from: Mitch Hedberg
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The future rewards those who press on. I don't have time to feel sorry for myself. I don't have time to complain. I'm going to press on. -
The first time that I performed as an actor was the first day on the set of 'The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.' -
Ezra was right half the time, and when he was wrong, he was so wrong you were never in any doubt about it. -
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. -
Everywhere is nowhere. When a person spends all his time in foreign travel, he ends by having many acquaintances, but no friends.
More quotes by Mitch Hedberg
- Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!
- I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
- I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
- I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
- Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?