I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.
Steven Wright
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When you walk the track and you see a corner and realise you were going round it at 160mph, you wonder who could be so stupid to take a corner at that speed. But in the car, you don't even think about that. -
The same things we've done the past couple of seasons. We've worked on the engine and clutch. We'll try and pick up the performance and consistency of the car and go back out there. -
Once when I was 16 I had my car taken away from me for being past curfew. Oh, and I said a bad word once, and I actually did get my mouth washed out with soap. -
Environmentalists have a very conflicted relationship with their cars. -
I'm not a bad driver. And I never will be because I took lessons when I was quite a boy. I never had to pass a test because there wasn't such a thing when I first started driving a motor car. So I didn't have to pass one.
More quotes by Steven Wright
- How young can you die of old age?
- I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
- For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
- I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
- I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.