I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
Steven Wright
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I like the desert for short periods of time, from inside a car, with the windows rolled up, and the doors locked. I prefer beach resorts with room service. -
You are going in one second the length of a football field. That means you brain is receiving information from your body what the car is doing physically, bumping, balance, performance. -
From 1997 when we came in, you guys and the public bought seven million more cars. You didn't get rid of the second car, did you? So what is happening is the growth of cars on the motorway. -
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The very first time I was on a car in Atlanta, I saw the conductor - all conductors are white - ask a Negro woman to get up and take a seat farther back in order to make a place for a white man. I have also seen white men requested to leave the Negro section of the car.
More quotes by Steven Wright
- How young can you die of old age?
- I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
- For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
- I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
- I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.