Rodney Dangerfield

Discover the 10 best quotes by Rodney Dangerfield. Make your own poster too.

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

Rodney Dangerfield

god

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

Rodney Dangerfield

good

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

Rodney Dangerfield

home

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

Rodney Dangerfield

home

At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he know he can't.

Rodney Dangerfield

hope

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

Rodney Dangerfield

jealousy

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

Rodney Dangerfield

life

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.

Rodney Dangerfield

marriage

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.

Rodney Dangerfield

marriage

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

Rodney Dangerfield

marriage

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