If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
Henny Youngman
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. -
I always find it kind of embarrassing, kind of funny, and kind of exciting. In New York I'm recognized a lot, although nobody says anything. You know, they stare at you just a second too long. But in Paris it's not as commonplace to be recognized. -
One of the things I like about acting is that, in a funny way, I come back to myself. -
I don't think of myself as a comedian, but as an artist, a scientist and chemist who just happens to be funny. I started doing stand-up to add another level to my game. I feel that I'm a young rookie with a veteran's skill. -
Boston is actually the capital of the world. You didn't know that? We breed smart-ass, quippy, funny people. Not that I'm one of them. I just sorta sneaked in under the radar.
More quotes by Henny Youngman
- Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
- I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
- My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
- I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
- My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad but New York City?