When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
Henny Youngman
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For my convalescence, I had to exercise my voice only with vowels. It is a medical rule after a long loss of voice. -
It's interesting when people make comments about celebrities' weight gain or lack of weight gain as if they're a medical professional that's treating that celebrity. Like, 'This doctor does not treat Jessica Simpson, but thinks her weight is unhealthy.' If you don't treat her, then how do you know? -
I have many times thought I did the wrong thing, but the reason was not to be a medical doctor - it was just to have the information. But then, maybe I was wrong, I don't know. -
I'd visit the near future, close enough that someone might want to talk to Larry Niven and can figure out the language distant enough to get me decent medical techniques and a ticket to the Moon. -
Understand that legal and illegal are political, and often arbitrary, categorizations use and abuse are medical, or clinical, distinctions.
More quotes by Henny Youngman
- Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
- I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
- My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
- I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
- My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad but New York City?