When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
Henny Youngman
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When you talk about obesity, there's so many things that can cause that. It can be a medical thing, or down to the individual. There's a lot of other things involved than eating a Mars bar. -
The technology used to detect if vehicles are carrying radioactive material is so sensitive it can tell if a person recently received radiation as part of a medical procedure. -
It's interesting when people make comments about celebrities' weight gain or lack of weight gain as if they're a medical professional that's treating that celebrity. Like, 'This doctor does not treat Jessica Simpson, but thinks her weight is unhealthy.' If you don't treat her, then how do you know? -
Harvard Medical School, the University of South Florida and the American Psychiatric Association have all conducted studies showing that the earlier one begins gambling, the more likely it is he or she will become an addicted, problem gambler. -
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
More quotes by Henny Youngman
- Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
- I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
- My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
- I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
- My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad but New York City?