This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!
Henny Youngman
More from: Henny Youngman
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Since graduation, I have measured time in 4-by-5-inch pieces of paper, four days on the left and three on the right. Every social engagement, interview, reading, flight, doctor's appointment, birthday and dry-cleaning reminder has been handwritten between metal loops. -
I could be happy doing something like architecture. It would involve another couple of years of graduate school, but that's what I studied in college. That's what I always wanted to do. -
When I graduated from Santa Monica High in 1927, I was voted the girl most likely to succeed. I didn't realize it would take so long. -
Even though I didn't get a business degree, I enjoyed learning about economics. -
I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.
More quotes by Henny Youngman
- Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
- I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
- My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.
- I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
- My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad but New York City?